How to Save Your Marrige From Divorce Without Hurting Your Children
Posted by zjgcrz | Filed under Uncategorized
Marriage isn’t all about children and you shouldn’t just consider your children when thinking about whether or not to try and save your marriage but it is interesting to note what impact a failed marriage can have on the life of a child.
It is a well known fact that children who have happily married parents enjoy a better style of life and are, on average, physically healthier than other children. In addition, failing to save your marriage could reduce the likelihood that your children will finalise their education, limit their achievements and double the chances of your children being unable to save their own marriage in the future.
Children from happily married backgrounds tend to enjoy far more of the more material aspects of life, with married men generally earning more than single men, and more often than not have a far better relationship with their fathers.
There are certain and obvious financial implications if you are unable to save your marriage with divorce significantly reducing the family income thus restricting your ability to provide for your family and pushing many women into the poverty zone.
Often the short term negative impact on your life when learning how to save your marriage is far more preferable (often in hindsight) than the stress of divorce with arguments over access, the strain on your finances and the continual battle of trying to run a household single handed. The transition from married to single (when you are unable to save your marriage) often destroys a significant part of your children’s childhood, a period which we soon learn if very precious and should be valued.
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Many partners suffer from depression on marriage break up and when this affects the parent who has custody of the children the impact can be devastating with the children feeling unwanted and unloved and failing to understand the reasoning behind why the marriage (their family life) could not be saved.
Marriage is important for the upbringing of your children. What happens in the early years often has a significant bearing on their teenage and adult years and generally has a significant bearing on how their life turns out. Obviously a less than harmonious marriage is not a good environment for a child but when giving consideration as to whether or not to try and save your marriage or head for the divorce courts it is worth considering the impact on the family as a whole.
I would never advocate that you save your marriage just because of the impact a broken home can have on a child but I do suggest that you should consider your next step very carefully and make totally sure that there is no way you can fix your marriage problems and be 100% sure that you are unable to save your marriage before destroying what could be, with a little help and guidance, a precious and enjoyable family life.
You can help save your marriage. These days, it has become more socially acceptable to get a divorce. And many times, it is only one partner who wants it while the other is ambivalent about it and would rather try and make the marriage work. The problem is that it takes the effort of both spouses in order to avoid divorce. To help save your marriage, you both have to agree that divorce is not an option. You got married for a strong reason in the first place – love. Think back to the “whys” that helped you fall in love and build on it.
Sometimes though, to help save your marriage, takes outside help. And that is perfectly all right. It is totally up to you and your spouse to employ any resources necessary to help save your marriage. These resources can come from a variety of places. Just know that you will have a higher percentage rate of success if both you and your spouse agree on what steps to take in order to help save your marriage.
Resource #1 – Self help books can offer some guidance as to which areas you may need to focus on to help save your marriage. There are a plethora of topics to choose from so take your time and find one that you both feel will help the most. Some self-help books focus on how to keep finance troubles from leading you both to divorce. Other books that might help save your marriage touch on infidelity, substance abuse, how children affect marriage, rebuilding trust and much more.
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Resource #2 – Marriage counselors and therapists can help save your marriage. Sometimes, a third, uninvolved party is what is needed to serve in an intermediary role. A counselor or therapist brings a unique perspective to your situation which can help save your marriage. You and your spouse are too close to the situation and your feelings can cloud judgment and impartiality.
Resource #3 – If you are involved with a church, chances are that you can book a session with your clergyman or even request the assistance of a mentor couple to help save your marriage. Many churches have married established couples who serve as mentors for people just getting married as well as for those marriage partners who are having troubles. This option is similar to counseling or therapy, but it offers a totally different outlook. It just might give you a different direction in which to help save your marriage.
Resource #4 – The internet plays an active role for practically anyone who uses a computer. To help save your marriage, use a search engine to look for information regarding marriage as well as what you perceive your marriage problems to be. Read personal experiences of others through stories on websites and blogs. Learn from their mistakes and solutions. See if any of their situations mirror yours and perhaps “borrow” a few of there coping skills and solutions. What works for others may not work to help save your marriage, but at least you learn from those mistakes and perhaps come away with a different perspective on your marriage.
To help save your marriage, you will have to practice your listening and communications skills. In other words, make a commitment to the cause. You and your spouse are worth it.
Tags: marrige
